Sunday, November 11, 2007

Gong Gong, I Miss and Love You Forever...

To my dearest Gong Gong,

Today, I was shocked when Jane told me that you are traveling to a far, far place and not going to come back anymore. Why? I thought you just came back from China? Why were you in such a rush? You didn't even give me a chance to bid goodbye to you...

I was very sad to learn that I won't be able to see you again. I have so many things to tell you. I have so many things to share with you. I have so many things to discuss with you. Yet, I couldn't do any of those. Anyway, I know you have your own reasons to leave. Since I couldn't meet you for the very last time, I might as well just write you this letter and hope that it will reach you safely with the help from the "forever-hardworking-Postman".

Gong Gong, you must be very tired especially in these two years. I could see you getting older from days to days. Your health was getting poorer. You didn't smile as often as you do. You didn't even talk to us as much as few years back. Sometimes, I was quite heart-broken when I saw you sitting in the shop for the whole day and did nothing. I knew you want to drive, eat your favourite food and look for your old friends. Due to your health condition, you were not allowed to do so by Baba and also uncles.

You remember? There was once when you had too much "tang yuan" and you tried to reduce the sugar level by taking some sort of medicine. You were supposed to go to Uncle Seng's house for dinner but when Uncle Seng's went to fetch you, you were not at home. You were driving to Uncle Seng's house without permission! Since you had exceeded the maximum amount of medicine, your sugar level dropped tremendously and caused you to drive unconsciously. 2 Jiu Jiu's called me when his friend saw you almost rammed into someone's car. Baba and Mama were not at home. I was the only one at home. I was so nervous that I didn't know what to do. I only called Aunty Lucy and I quickly got into the car and went to find you. When I saw you, my heart skipped a beat. What happened to my Gong Gong? Is he ok? Those were the questions which came into my mind.

I saw 2 Jiu Jiu's friend was there. He told me what happened and then, I asked you to open the lock of your door. However, you were too weak to do so. I didn't know what to do. Soon, more people came. 1 Jiu Jiu told me to get the spare keys of the car. And there I went, speeding to get the key while praying you were fine. When I went back to the scene and opened the door, you were still unconscious. Luckily after we gave you sips of sweet hot milo, you regained your consciousness. We told you what happened and you were just smiling at us. You gave us a shocked that day. That's why, Baba and uncles didn't allow you to drive. This restricted your mobility and I knew that you were feeling lonelier after that. Gong, do you know that due to this incident, I chose a thesis which was related to elderly drivers on the road? I have completed it and am going to show it to you when I get back to Miri. Now, I don't think it is possible for me to do so...

Gong Gong, it has been four years after I left Miri for Perth. It is still fresh in my mind when I went into your room the day before I left. I approached and greeted you. Of course, you always never forgot to reply me with your sweetest smile and end with the word "guai". After I explained to you that I would be going to Perth for my studies, you held my hand while looking into my eyes. You told me, "Wei, when you are in Perth, take care of yourself ah. Faster finish your studies, then you can come back and help out in the business".

Now, I am almost done with my university's life. How I wish you could attend my graduation next year. I know you were waiting for this day, weren't you? I plan to discuss with you and Baba whether I should step my feet into the business or not after I graduate. Now that you have left, did you tell Baba any of your ideas? To have me work for the company or to gain experience at other places first?

Gong ah, now that you're in a happy land, don't forget to take care of yourself, ok? Even if you don't, I guess, Po Po will do the job. You can now eat your favourite food without restrictions, no longer need to eat those yucky medicine and I think, to drive freely is what you are going to enjoy most. I will certainly miss the time when I had to drive you to eat your favourite Bak Kut Teh or your favourite chicken soup. I totally regret I didn't do more than that for you.

Gong Gong, before I end this letter, I would like to apologise for not being able to send you off and also, not being the most filial grandson you would have wished. Although you have left me physically, I know you are still watching me. You are the most wonderful and caring Gong Gong I have. You will always be placed in my heart.

Till we meet again, Gong Gong, I miss and love you forever...

Always your grandson,
Wei Wei

27 comments:

Muminmiri said...

Sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you are able to continue to do your revision coz I am sure Gong Gong won't want your studies to be interrupted.

wonda said...

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your grandfather. I know how you feel. I went through it when my father passed away so suddenly due to diabetes and I couldn't get my re-entry permit in time to be with him in his last moment. I thank God that he didn't die from his thyroid cancer. He had a painless death.
Do well in your studies. Your gong gong is already proud of you. A good grandson.

Firehorse said...

Hugs to my dear Kok.

Judy said...

My deepest condolences to you, your sister, cousin Jane and all in your family.

Take care.

ilene said...

KOK, my deepest sympathy. One of those unavoidable situations in life. Have to be strong Kok. Take care.

yenjai.net said...

Sigh
Jit ngoi sun bin

Dancing Queen said...

Kok, you made me cry with your post today. Be strong & don't let your grandpa down.

My deepest sympathy for you & your family.

Sasha said...

Wei wei, Gong gong knows u are a good boy. Dun worry. He is going somewhere where he can no longer feel pain and suffer. So, dun be too upset and do the best in yr exam for your gong gong ok? that is the best u can do for him now.

Sue Sue said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Do take care.

lynnwei said...

kok, i'm sorry to hear about this lost! =(
my deepest condolence to you and ur family!

Chuan said...

Take care Kok, your grandpa will be proud of you!

ka..t said...

What a beautiful heartfelt letter, Kok. Really touched me (my dad also suffers from diabetes).

Take care, and all the best in your studies.

Chen said...

sorry to hear that. My deepest condolence to u and your family on the loss of your grandpa

eastcoastlife said...

My deepest condolences.

It is indeed a sad loss. Do your best and make him proud. He would be watching over you from where he is now.

Hugs

wmw said...

I cried reading your letter, thinking about my dad...but we all know that they are definitely happier where they are now. No restrictions, no pain...Be strong Kok, I'm sure your grandpa is very proud of you, you are indeed a good grandson!

Vern said...

I first heard the news from Jane...I'm sorry for your loss. You and Jane will be in my prayers.

just me said...

My condolence to you

teckiee said...

Sorry to hear that your kong kong left. My deepest condolences.

lynnx01 said...

I can feel tears in my eyes. Looks like I cry easily.

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

my condolences..dear me..i just realise my gong gong pass away almost 1 year d..

keeyit said...

My condolences to you and family.. Be strong and take care.

Kok said...

muminmiri: I've tried my best. I just hope I'll pass everything and don't let my Gong Gong down.

Aunty Alice: Thanks, aunty. I don't think I'm a good grandson. I can be better.

firehorse: *HUGS* Thanks, Firehorse.

Aunty Judy: Thanks, aunty.

Ilene: Thanks. Indeed, this is life. We have to face it.

yenjai: Thanks a lot.

dancing queen: I'm sorry to make you cry. I hope I didn't let my grandpa down.

Thanks.

Sasha: Thanks. I couldn't agree more. I think doing my best in the exam was the best I could do for my Gong Gong. Thanks, Sasha. I appreciate every words of yours.

sue: Thanks a lot.

lynnwei: Thanks.

chuan: Thanks a lot, man.

ka..t: Thanks for the kind words and thanks for dropping by. I'm sorry if I welcome you with such a sad post...

chen: Thanks a lot.

eastcoastlife: *Hugs* Thanks. I hope he can see me graduate from the very far place.

wmw: I'm really sorry for making you cry. Ya, I think my grandpa now is in a better place, where he had no pain and suffer.

I don't think I'm a good grandson. Can be better.

vern: Thanks a lot for keeping Jane and I in your prayers.

just me: Thanks.

teckiee: Thank you.

lynxx: I'm sorry to make you tear.

joe: Thanks. And sorry for reminding you of your grandpa.

keeyit: Thanks. Don't worry. I'm still fine.

ling said...

Sorry to hear about that.. Take care!

Kok said...

ling,
Thanks.

cc said...

So sorry to hear about this wei, deepest condolences. Hugz

Kok said...

cc,
Thank you. Hugs!

Kleio the Muse said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. *Hugs* My condolence to you and your family. May he rest in peace.
It must have been hard for you. Be strong ok.

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